Entering the world of motherhood leaves you with a mix of emotions you have never experienced before. Even talking with mamas who have two, three, four etc. babies, the consensus is the same… it is the most rewarding, challenging, emotional, and beautiful time of your life. I have had incredible support as a new mom and for that I am so beyond grateful, but I know not everyone has that type of community surrounding them. Because of that, I wanted to make this post, for the new moms who need the support, and the friends and family members that need the ideas on how to best do that.
- Drop off a meal, coffee or snack basket. A surprise on the doorstep is an instant day maker. My favorite thing to do for a new mom friend is to drop off a “late night nursing snack basket” where I fill it with a variety of healthy snacks to get her through those middle of the night feeding cravings. Variety is key – you never know what she will be craving and she will love the thoughtful touch of having options!
- Ask how MOM is doing. When that beautiful new baby arrives, they become the center of everyones attention (which is SO understandable because the excitement is very real), but as a new mom, you go from being pregnant where everyone seems to ask how you’re doing and feeling to being postpartum where it feels like people often first ask how BABY is doing, feeling, etc. Sometimes just saying, “How are YOU, mama?” will make her feel seen and valued during a time where she is emotional and healing. I had so many friends reach out and asking me how I was (& baby too!), and that truly meant the world to know they cared about my wellbeing too.
- Give her a lot of grace and space if she needs it. Sometimes the best way you can support a new mom and family, is by giving them space to settle. My husband only got a few weeks off of work, so we really wanted to take that time as a new family of three to figure out our routine and soak in one another. As much as we wanted our baby to meet every single person that we love, we knew it could wait a few weeks too before opening up our door more freely. Those first few days and weeks are so valuable for the new parents to learn their new roles, and it is also a time of sleepless nights and extreme healing for mama so she may not be up for hosting just yet.
- Offer to help in a specific way. When you are invited over, instead of saying “anything I can help with?” try to be specific. This will make it much more likely that she will say yes (coming from a person who doesn’t like asking for help!). A few ideas: “is there any laundry I can put in or fold for you?” // “Let me wash these dishes quick while you snuggle baby – sound good?” // “What are you feeling for dinner? I will order us takeout!”
- Send words of encouragement. Let her know she is doing a good job and that you have been thinking of her! This is very simple but will go along way.
I was able to make this list because I had so many wonderful people in my life demonstrate the ideas above. If you are are looking for a way to support the new mama in your life, look no further, and if you’re unsure, just ask “how can I best support you?” because we simply don’t know if we don’t ask and that is totally okay. If you are the new mama reading this post, and need a little support, let’s chat (send me a DM on Instagram, I’d love to connect. (@monica.croatt), because there is no one who gets it more than someone who is currently in the same season of life.